"Shredstin, I noticed you haven't done a blog for a long time. What's the deal?! Anyway I was just wondering if you could give be some advice how how to be witty. I don't have many friends and I feel like I need a fresh way to impress people. PLEASE HELP!!"
Well Justin you/we have come to the right place. I/you are/am very witty. I would tell you that witty is my middle name but we both know that isn't true. I would add it to my name but "Shredstin DeNarnia Witty de la freakin GnarGnar" is far too long of a name.
Anyways here are some examples of how to be witty.
Practice being funny is your dreams. When a zombie tries to eat you or you finally meet a girl that is interested in you, you can rest assured that you are dreaming. Try saying something witty to the zombie. If it doesn't work out you can try again the next night.
Think Ahead
Try to think ahead. Think of something in your life that you could mention that would be hilarious. For example, if someone brings up their father you can bring up the fact that your father is in prison. This will make people feel so uncomfortable that they won't dare question you when you declare that you are now a wit master.
Internet
When Aslan invented that internet he didn't intend it for the use of a hipster. He intended it for funny people to make funny thing and to steal funny things from other people. Half the jokes I know I stole from the internet. The other half Aslan told me personally because he has called me to a higher calling. I knew wit before it was cool.
I sure hope this helped Justin. You are very attractive and neat and fun.
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