Friend Zone

This advice is for Andrea who asked;

"Dear Shred, How do you get out of the friend zone? Love, Andrea"

I have been in the friend zone with every girl for the last kagillion years. Why do you think I decided to answer your blog on a Friday night. The friend zone is lovely this time of year because you don't have to do any stupid valentine's day bull crap. You can just sit around and watch Pokemon 2000 with your friends.

Man, how do I do it?!!

But if you want to be out of the friend zone I may have a few good ideas to help you;

The Word "Love"

I have told every girl on the planet this at least 3 times each. If you tell a boy that you love him and you aren't dating, you are automatically placing him in a friend prison from which there is rarely ever an escape! The common response is "Oh I just love everyone" or "I just mean like", doesn't matter. You will be alone forever if you keep it up. My common response when a female tells me she loves me is "You don't know what love is!" or "What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.".  

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!

I am not bitter about this because it hasn't happened to me 46,000 times! The reason most people are in the friend zone is because they won't make up their minds. Don't invite a boy you are interested in over when you have other boys over.  If you do so he is more likely to marry the other boys then he is to marry you. 

And that should do it. Boys aren't as stupid as we seem. Sometimes you girls think you are putting right signals out there but they are just clouded by the million other signals that tell us the opposite of what you really mean.