High Maintenance

This advice is for Mike who asked;

"Shredstin. A lot of girls out there feel like they aren't high maintenance when really they are. What are some sure fire methods for measuring their high maintenancy?"

First off Mike, way to make up the word "maintenancy". That shows that you don't just sit around waiting for words to be handed to you! You take action, and clearly your maintenancy levels are very low. 

Unfortunately not every one is like you, especially our better looking counterparts. Woman are higher maintenance than men because they have more to maintain. Here are a few of those things they need to maintain;

-Their dominion over our every thought and action.

-Their "natural" hair color.

-Their ability to let that "natural" hair get clogged in the drain.

-Their ability to force men to clean the before mention hair out of the drain.

-Their dominion of 7/8 of the bed and blankets.

I got bored AND furious so I stopped the list.  

The number one sign to of telling when a girl is high maintenance is if you find her attractive. If she looks like this.....

she is probably not high maintenance and you should probably date her. She is such a sweetheart!

If you want to date attractive women there is no way to avoid the maintenance costs. It is like driving a fancy car in the future.  It will drive you lots of places and you will look good while doing so, but the parts are super expensive, it runs on diamonds, and it is constantly nagging you about your friends.

I hope this advice helps Mike and I hope to get your wedding invite soon.