Ryan Shredington

So a lot of people (mostly aunts and uncles) have been asking me how I am so incredibly good looking.  I don't really feel like they are looking for advice, they are mostly just complimenting me.  I can't blame them really (I am very attractive), so I will just tell you all how I became so dog gone gorgeous.


It all started with two men (CONTROVERSY!!!!!), one by the name of Ryan Gosling and the other by the name of Denzel Washington.  They had a secret meeting together because two of the sexiest men ever to live meeting in a public place would be absurd. Denzel said to Ryan "Look Ryan, we are the two sexiest men ever to live on the planet. I am sick of it!! I just want to live a normal life, free of women worshiping me and wanting me for my body."  Ryan cried a single tear which could have completely cured cancer. "I know your pain Denzel." he said. "I just need a little break."  Denzel collected the tear. "Using this tear and a flake of my dandruff I am going to create a clone that will officially be the sexiest man ever! No more competition between you and I and we can live normal lives." They imagined the clone would look something like this...

Terrifyingly beautiful, I know!!

 Instead, a new child was born. He inherited his two father's handsomeness. Ryan's crying abilities and Denzel's dandruff.  He was officially the sexiest man ever created. They named him Ryan Shredington...

The child's face literally shone with beauty.  He was so devastatingly handsome that his fathers had to put him up for adoption and he had to change his name several times. He finally settled on Shredstin DeNarnia de la freakin GnarGnar.

So yeah. That is how. You are welcome.