This advice is for Darren who asked;
"Shred, my beautiful baby girl will not go to sleep in her own bed without the vacuum running... I should just vacuum the house.. I don't.. I just leave it there running... after a while it starts making sounds like its going to blow up. Advise me."
I am really worried about your vacuum Darren....oh and your baby too I guess. Since I don't want either of those things to blow up I will give you some advice.
Just read this children's book to Emery every night. That should do the trick.
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Emery. She was very fun a very cool (much like her uncle Shredstin). She was very popular (just like her uncle Shredstin) and her best friend in the whole world was Victor the vacuum.
Victor was the best vacuum ever!!! Even better Hoover vacuums. It was the suckiest vacuum on the planet. He was also a perfect gentleman and could quote any Ryan Gosling movie by heart.
One day an evil orc that kinda looked like a retard zombie ninja turtle (band name?) came and took Victor away. He said, "Eric Stanford told me to steal this and he says that him and Darren can't be friends anymore because you were born. It is all your fault Emery. All the orcs hate you."
Emery didn't like the orc's tone.
Every night Emery would long for the return of Victor. That orc was a meanie head and deserved to die.
So uncle Shredstin killed him, and all the other orcs in the universe. He brought back Victor and Emery and Victor cleaned happily ever after.
That should do the trick Darren. Hopefully you never have to use a vacuum again in your life!
lol
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